Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Perception of Perfection

That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.  ~~Ninon de L'Enclos

As a writer of romance, erotic, or some call it naughty stories, I have been asked about the images I portray in my work.  The beefcake men, the beautiful sexy women and my response is…. “It’s fantasy.  We all want to live out a fantasy.” And while I will be the first to admit, I love the beauty of the human form, the truth is there is no such thing as perfection.  Everyone has flaws.  And while it’s true, we tend to overlook those flaws when we are “in love,” the flaws are still present and accounted for, which brings me to the topic of the perception of perfection.

I have spoken to a lot of women who feel the need to be perfect.  I’m not going to lie and say I have not been one of those women because I have been.  As a woman I think we are constantly bombarded with perfect images of the female form, the perfect size two, the sexy pouting lips, big boobs, small waists.  We are faced with these images daily in advertisements, commercials, TV shows, magazines, books, and somewhere along the way we buy into those images and the need to be “superwoman” if you will.  We buy the best products, make-up to conceal, mascara to make our lashes look like a splay of long feathers, creams to heal and repair, and dyes to make our hair look lustrous.  We lament over the perfect shade of lipstick and nail color.  We fuss and muss over the dress, the shoes and yes even the underwear.  And soon we begin to think, what else do I need to do to look like a Victoria Secret model?  We kill ourselves in the gym; we buy crazy machines to help us shape our bodies.  We toil and we sweat.  We do so many leg lunges are asses get numb.  We allow others, including men, to dictate who we should be.

As women we wear many hats, daughter, friend, mother, money maker, lover…..   We run households and million dollar companies.  We change diapers, mop floors and we head up meetings, multitask and stop hostile takeovers all by noon … the list goes on and on.  The old saying, “A woman’s work is never done,” is literally true.  So along with all the pressure to be all of these things and be perfect, we tend to lose ourselves somewhere along the way.  Don’t get me wrong, I think we should strive to be the best we can be but we need to also strive to love ourselves for who we are.  The stress and pressures we apply to our daily lives is tremendous and don’t even get me started on the pressure we put on ourselves to be everything to everyone.

So ladies I say, chill out some.  Learn to love yourself.  Take a good look at the inside.  Too many people look at the fancy cover but never open the book to see what's written inside.  Take time every day, even if it is just ten minutes, for just you.  Learn about yourself.  Experiment a little.  Ask yourself, “What do I like?” Find out about you.  What do you find interesting and what do you really enjoy? Take a walk, listen to music, take a bubble bath, read a good book, cook something you really want to eat, pamper yourself just a little bit and maybe somewhere along the way you will find you truly are superwoman, there’s just no need to wear the designer cape!

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